For some meat eaters and carnivores, the vegan diet and lifestyle is just not something that vibes with theirs. Even the idea of dating or marrying a vegan does not cross their minds.
But it doesn’t mean it’s not possible for a vegan and carnivore to live happily ever after. I, myself, met my current husband, a carnivore, after I adopted the vegan diet, and we’ve been pretty happy ever since.
But having 2 very different diets obviously means that our eating and dining experiences are different too.
Here are some things that we do that most couples who share similar diets might not do.
We buy our own groceries.
Most couples will buy groceries together and split or alternate who pays the bill.
Not us.
There are very few groceries that both my husband and I eat together at home. Obviously, any meat, eggs, dairy, or other animal product he buys I do not eat. But even things that are vegan–like oatmeal and vegetables–are bought separately because he has a very particular oatmeal brand and selection of vegetables that he prefers to eat that I don’t like (yes, it is possible for vegans to not like all vegetables).
So it doesn’t make sense to buy groceries together or to alternate grocery bills when there is nothing to share. Especially when his grocery bill of animal products and meat is more than double what I spend on my vegetables, tofu, and legumes every week, it just does not make sense to split or alternate our grocery bills.
We cook separately and eat separate meals when we are home.
This is a given, since we buy our own groceries. He typically cooks his own meals, and I will cook mine, although I do sometimes help with his meal prepping when his work schedule is super busy.
We have very different work schedules, so we hardly eat meals together at the same time at home. Even if we happen to catch each other for breakfast, lunch, or dinner, our dishes are completely different and there is no sharing of meals going around our kitchen table.
I get to choose restaurants when we go out to eat...
As I am the one who has the more restrictive diet, my husband leaves restaurant choices on me when we want to go out to eat.
I do plenty of research on menus when looking for someplace to go to make sure there is at least 1 vegan dish for me to eat that I will enjoy. If I find a place I like, then I’ll show him the menu to make sure there is something for him that he will enjoy too (and there usually always is something he’ll like).
...but we also compromise when there are limited vegan options for me.
Every once in a blue moon, he will want to try a restaurant that does not the have the most amazing or desirable vegan options for me (for example, when the only option is a salad or fries).
The few times this has happened, he always compromises, and takes me to another restaurant so that I can at least pick up a vegan desert or dish for me to take home.
The takeaway
When I told my now-husband on our first date that I was vegan, I thought I would have scared him away. I knew that some people had misconceptions about vegans and would think “how can I date somebody who doesn’t even eat the same food as me?”
But he didn’t think twice or bat an eye. It wasn’t a big deal for him, and neither was it a big deal for me that he was a full carnivore.
We have been able to merge our lives together without merging our meals, and we respect each other’s food choices without judgement. He never tries to pressure or convince me to eat meat, and I never try to push him to go vegan, and that’s something that I think all couples should do.
Whether one is a vegan or not, or one is simply trying to adopt a healthier diet than the other, there should always be that mutual respect for each other’s diet choices in a relationship so that everybody can live (and eat) happily ever after.
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